By Wesonga Robert
You will remember that after failing to undertake an HIV test at Kisima Dispensary in Samburu, Beni travelled to his father’s home in Kisii. This morning I received an email from him with disturbing news. Once more, Beni has dreamed.
You may not know why I feel scared. I submitted a list of things I want Beni to dream about after discovering that all his dreams become true, or at least, near-true. I decided to do this when my landlord’s wife left him after Beni had told me he had dreamed it. Fearing the worst, I pleaded with Beni never to dream that I am dead.
Feeling remarkably generous this morning, I have decided to publish a copy of Beni’s unedited email containing the details of his dream:
The Town of Eshikhatsombero. It was a town beyond Emuswitswi and Emanyulia. And bordering Eshilamanyikha on the west. That was perhaps the mistake. According to Nature’s original plan, that town was not supposed to exist. Yet here it was, in the middle of nowhere, and in the nowhere of everywhere.
It was a town situated between the hill of hope and the valley of despair. In the middle of the town, there flowed a river. There was no water in it. What flowed were the tears of the town dwellers, mixed with their sweat. And on the riverbed, the pebbles were not really pebbles. They were pieces of the shattered dreams of the town dwellers. Yet, one man still dared to dream.
The man was the Town Dreamer. The Chief Dreamer chose what to dream, how to dream it and where to dream it. That is not the only thing he could do. In some cases where the dream required the performance of certain activities; activities that must remain unmentioned here, the chief dreamer chose who to dream with, where and for how long. And that is how it was that he ended up with the most beautiful wife in the town.
In fact it was whispered loudly, although nobody could swear hearing it or cared to confirm, several girls had broken their legs and backs trying to imitate how the dreamer’s wife walked. Her looks encouraged people to begin imagining very risky and biologically incorrect things. That she did not visit the small rooms. Her name was Filora, but when the dreamer married her, he decided to dream a beautiful name to match her beauty. The name is Fulumena.
The Dreamer reached such a high profile in town. This is because he was the only man of Visions. And he came up with a pretty many visions: Vision 1030, Vision Plan For What You Don’t Intend To Do, Vision Avoid Commonsense in Public Offices, Vision Give Forests To The Who is Who, Vision Steal Town Money And Promise To Sue Those Who Talk About It. That was the most popular vision of the time.
Nothing important could be done in the town without his opinion. When the town Big People wanted to kindly take the land that belonged to everyone, they would simply tell the Dreamer to dream. If a wife wanted to get rid of her husband, she only needed to tell the Dreamer to dream that their marriage was impossible.
There is only one dream he refused to dream. The TOWN COMMITTEE FOR POLYGAMISTS & RELATED BAD BEHAVIOUR approached him. They wanted him to dream that all their wives should vote YES to support their polygamous behaviour. He refused to dream this. He could not imagine betraying his beautiful Fulumena.
One day, the town Big People asked him to dream the King of all visions: It was Vision 2040. Otherwise called: THE ESHIKHATSOMBERO CONSPIRACY AGAINST FAILED VISIONS. That vision was a far cry from Luther’s King Dream. To achieve this, he decided to appoint commission to assist him: THE COMMISSION OF EXTRAVAGANT DREAMERS. There were subcommittees in charge of laws, peace, technology, education and marriage.
This vision was a dream founded on the exaggerated imagination that the very best be hoped for. Even when all evidence pointed to the contrary: that the worst always waited on the horizon. The subcommittee for peace submitted their proposal.
By 2040, any resident of the town could live in any part of the town. The committee added: by 2040, Eshikhatsombero town would be a beacon of peace. And would release a syllabus for PEACE & RELATED STUDIES. This syllabus would be exported to all the towns around.
On technology, they dreamed too. By 2040, everything would revolve around computers: those who did not want to go through the pain of childbearing could go to the nearest Cyber, click DOWNLOAD, then click CHILD. After that, she would be able to select the sex of the child save in a flash disk. One would then print the newborn baby on the nearest printer.
Still, with computers, it would be easy by 2040, to shoot or stab your neighbour and then order instant blood transfusion on the internet. With computers, there would be no human teachers.
Even for punishment. A boy who knows he has done a mistake would punish himself. It would be easy. Switch on the computer on his desk, click START, then PROGRAMS, then, ACCESSORIES and go to SYSTEM TOOLS. From there select ADMINISTRATIVE TOOLS. That would immediately administer punishment to the pupil.
The most important of all the subcommittees also gave their part of Vision 2040. So they came up with a perfect UTOPIAN CONSTITUTION FOR ESHIKHATSOMBERO. All the laws were the best and applicable as long as they were accepted by the will of the Big People.
In fact one of the recommendations in the laws was that the Big People did not have to implement any of the very good laws if they didn’t like it.
Surprisingly and shockingly, especially shockingly, this is how the preamble of The Constitution of the People of Eshikhatsombero read: “We the people of Eshikhatsombero do hereby come up with this constitution although we know, so very clearly, in our mind’s eye, that it is IMPOSSIBLE to implement it”. It was yet to happen.
By 2040, as if bewitched by the Eshikhatsombero Conspiracy, the town people were slaughtering and burning each other faster than any computer can count. Instead of being a symbol of peace, the town started a profitable business. This was exporting refugees & IDPs to neighbouring towns.
The computers that were to be used in schools had been sold to other towns by the Sons and Daughters of the Big People. They had successfully taken over the town leadership from their parents.
The human teachers were still there. Only that they then started teaching so vigorously a new Subject released by the Town Education System: AN INTRODUCTION TO THE THEORETICAL FOUNDATIONS IN TRIBALISM. These things disappointed the dreamer.
Worse, the sons and daughters of Eshikhatsombero refused to cross the line and marry from the opposite sex. Sons married fellow sons. It was a great abomination.
Following all that, the dreamer dreamed his last. He wanted to become a practical man. He decided to dream that he had stopped dreaming altogether. He discovered that all the dreams he had dreamed for the town were not actually visions, they were nightmares.
The dreamer died six days later. He committed suicide by infecting himself with a fourth generation computer virus. He lies in his lonely grave on the outskirts of Eshikhatsombero.
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